Life & Faith

Oversized Sweater Dress & Cutout Booties x Anniversary Date

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Happy Monday everyone!! I am so excited and it is for perhaps the cheesiest reason possible. Austin and I celebrated our 1 year courtship anniversary yesterday! Aren’t anniversaries for married people? No matter – we celebrated with brick oven pizza plus milkshakes downtown, and a painfully boring movie to cap things off. If that’s not married couple behavior, I don’t know what is.Speaking of getting married.. I have officially started walking down the wedding planning path! I have an actual wedding planner and everything [ Hi Kirsten! ]. I am only two meetings into the process and I have already learned some things about myself. Mainly, I am not meant to plan things. Ha! I know that this process is supposed to be fun, but, I am over here stressing out. It’s what I do best, friends. 

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I popped on this ultra comfy oversized sweater dress from Tobi for our afternoon anniversary date! You can never go wrong with a sweater dress – Even in 70 degree weather.. with tights. I was committed to looking cold, y’all! Haha. I got this dress from Tobi about two weeks ago and I adore it! It’s so comfy and soft. I am linking two other colors below! A good sweater dress is a wardrobe staple that can be dressed up or down, and if lightweight enough, can be worn year round.

Side note: After three years of friendship, one year of courting, and now engagement, I’ve learned that Austin can be bribed with a milkshake to do anything photoshoot/blog related – as seen in the ‘milkshake euphoria’ picture above 😉

He’s such a good sport!

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OUTFIT DETAILS:

Sweater Dress // c/o Tobi [ exact ] [ exact in mustard & cream ]
Cutout Booties // Arturo Chang [ exact ]
Tights // Loft [ similar ]
Bag // Steve Madden [ similar ]
What is the cheesiest thing you have ever celebrated? How do you like to style a sweater dress? Let’s chat, friends!
 
With love,

Casual Weekender Outfit X Life Update

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Just casually lookin’ like a bumble bee in this comfy weekender outfit. Austin and I love wandering around downtown on the weekends – popping into shops to browse around, and sipping on tea floats from a local market. It is our time to just be together and forget about the work week. Don’t you love those days!?

Tea floats are outrageously good by the way. If you ever have the opportunity to try one.. DO IT. They are made by combining sweet tea with frozen sorbet of varying flavors – lemon is my favorite. The sorbet is dropped in just like ice cream in a ice cream float. It’s like sippin’ on heaven.

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I have to admit, this past weekend was a dream. Austin and I went over to “our” new condo. Technically, I won’t live there for another year – when we’re married. That won’t stop me from decorating the mess out of that place! We measured the space for living room furniture and tossed around some decor ideas. Or maybe I just bombarded Austin with pinterest inspiration. I can’t really say 😉
I honestly still can’t believe that we’re engaged. I haven’t shared much about it, but, I am becoming increasingly excited as the weeks tick by. I keep thinking “I get to marry this man!!”.
I think that with double exclamation point level excitement..
 
Being able to spend these days with my guy is an absolute treasure. I have walked thorough the forrest of singleness, wandering sometimes in fear and tears, and often in loneliness. Though my God was never far from me. And now He has placed this man in my path for the rest of my life. I get to spend my days sipping tea floats and growing in love with a precious man. These days are sweet, friends. So sweet.
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_________________________
Outfit Details //
Dress: Loft
Scarf: Gift
Boots: Fergie
Bag: Local Boutique
Keychain: Kendra Beshk
_________________________

If you are still walking through the forrest of singleness, take heart! It is a painful journey at times, and so often a lonely one. Our hearts are meant to pair up. Seek God in your singleness and live fully! Do the things that bring you joy, take a risk, cry when it hurts, and prepare. Prepare your heart for the day when that man walks across your path by finding contentment where you are right now and pursuing the life that God knit you so uniquely for. You are whole without your future husband. Life will just be all the sweeter with him.

Have you tried a tea float? Any exciting new happenings in your life? Are you still weathering the journey of singleness? Share, share, share in the comments! 

With so much love,

Our Engagement Gallery

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It has been a little over a week since Austin asked me to marry him [ did that really happen!? ] and I am finally ready to share a little gallery, from my point of view, from that day. It was such a special day! I wish that I could relive it over and over again. I didn’t take too many photos – I was a little distracted 😉 – but I managed to capture a few images from lunch, the beautiful grounds/Christmas decorations, and of course my sweet Austin.

Pro engagement tip for all of the guys out there: Feed your girlfriend really fattening delicious food before popping the question. You’re guaranteed a yes! Just kidding. Kind of 😉

A huge thank you to a very sneaky and sweet friend, Shannia, for capturing the pictures of that special moment [ above ]!

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Thank you for allowing me to share such a special day with you! These pictures make my heart skip with joy. If you are still single and waiting for your engagement day, take heart. The waiting can be so hard and lonely at times [ I know that all too well ], but sweet friend, God has not forgotten you. Be patient, be prayerful, and remain steadfast. God’s timing is utterly perfect and He cares deeply for your heart.

With so much love,

 

TNL Life Happenings // Chapter.01

Hello friends! How are you this month, this week, this day? What has been on your heart lately? Life has been very full around here – full of nerves, full of excitement, full of hope for the future. There are many changes on the horizon for me. These changes are not bad, but, they are stretching me. I am ready for change [ though I need to ease into it ] and ready to embrace a new chapter!

This new installment on The Nosh Life is a way for me to connect more with you. I love sharing recipes, encouragement, and outfits with y’all – I want to also share the chapters of my life behind the blog. I desire to know more about the reader on the other side of the screen too! I want to know your mind, your heart, your hurt, your triumphs! As I share a little more about my life & some TNL updates, I hope that you feel you know me better, that you can connect/relate, and that you have a friendly ear to listen and care about your life too!

Read on for some life updates, recent posts, and content I’m loving from fellow bloggers!

This Past Week & New Happenings //
•  Austin is in the final stages of getting a condo! We found a darling condo in a great community – this condo will our home in a little under two years and his bachelor pad until then. I intend to decorate it like I live there 😉

•  For the first time ever I actually know what I’m getting Austin for Christmas! This is a miracle as I am the worst gift giver.. Thank goodness for hints!

•  This past week I finally finished my photography portfolio! Photography is something that I have loved for many years. I have been so nervous taking the necessary steps to set up everything for my own photography business [ portfolio, email, social accounts, website ]. I am so excited to step out in faith [ with a lot of hard work to back it up! ] and build this business! I know there will be ups and downs, but, I am ready for those valleys and those mountain tops.

•  I have been working steadily behind the scenes to refine the categories here on The Nosh Life. Hopefully all of those categories will be updated by the end of the week!

• I had my hair colored – It is now a warm shade of copper/red. I am a ginger and I love it! Can’t wait to debut these rosy locks on Instagram. #gingershavemorefun

• I used to do an update post very much like this. I pulled away from it because I never felt like I had a handle on how to best share snippets of what goes on behind the blog/what happens outside of blog posts. Now I feel like I have a solid vision for this series and I am excited to share new chapters with you!

• I have struggled with doubt over the years and recently that doubt has tried to creep back into my life. I am working through those feelings, conquering them, and overcoming their shadow. As I do, I am putting together a post about overcoming the chains of doubt. Keep an eye out for it this week!

Recent Instagrams //@thenoshlife

In Case You Missed It //
A few of my favorite recent posts.
•  Building A solid Foundation For Marriage
• Pumpkin spice Espresso Muffins
• Easy Messy Twist Updo Hairstyle


Favorites Posts This Month //
I am an avid blog reader! I follow some precious women who share their hearts with transparency, post amazing recipes, and/or create truly compelling content. Here are a few posts that really stood out to me.
• 10 Things To Remember When You Feel Stuck
• What to Do When You Are Overwhelmed with Regret
• Perfect Fall Coconut Apple Cake

Words For The Road //
“We always lose when we evaluate ourselves according to someone else’s ideas or standards. We have to forget about what people say or think, and recognize that God’s values are the only important ones.”

What’s going on in your life right now? Anything new? What has been on your heart lately? Let’s talk in the comments!

With so much love,

When God Says Yes: My Heartfelt Journey Through Singleness

I waited. Waited in loneliness, in tears, and sometimes fear. I waited on God, whether His will was yes or whether it was no. I waited and trusted. I poured out my heart. I even pleaded. For four silent and sometimes downright painful years I wrestled with God. It was my will battling His timing. It was active trust battling the fear of life lived alone. My heart ached for companionship, but, God told me to wait. Through the fog of long felt emotion and tears I found contentment. Contentment in Christ. Contentment in being alone. And I found peace in His will. Then God granted me joy.

And then God said yes..

The Nosh Life: My Heartfelt Journey Through Singleness

 This post has been a long time coming. I wrote it, almost published it, and then rewrote it with a more open hand to what I felt. I want to share my heart. Being open and transparent has always
been something that I struggle with. Maybe it’s out of self-preservation; protecting myself from the judgement of others or perhaps it’s simply out of the fear of being truly seen. In the last year I have learned that being transparent with people is freeing, and builds the sweetest and most real
connections. So, here is my heart, friends. I am excited [ and a little nervous ] to share my journey, but, I hope that through this I can encourage you, relate to you, and build a stronger connection.

Finding “The One”

When I was a young girl I imagined what my life would look like in the future, as I’m sure we all do. I knew I would be married and have a couple of children. I would be the best mother that I could possibly be, and grow to be old and grey with my love. Those things may yet be a reality in my life, but, perhaps not in the timing that I thought. I always thought, or assumed, that I would be married and have two children by the time I was twenty-three.

I am now on the cusp of twenty-five, unmarried, and.. childless. I say that with a thread of humor because I see now how unprepared I was for those things in my baby-twenties.God kept closing that door and telling me to wait, but, I was too naive to understand it. I wanted my life to begin. What I didn’t understand was that life does not begin at marriage; life is in full swing and marriage is another branch, another path, and it is one that we may or may not take.


I grew up in the church during the time of kissed Dating Goodbye; a book that birthed the idea that your one and only was somewhere out there. That idea, the notion of the one, settle into my heart and birthed an insecure search and longing for “the one“. I longed for companionship. So many people that I knew were pairing up and I couldn’t help but wonder: where was my one and only? I remember feeling so confused and anxious. How am I supposed to know which one is “the one”. I felt alone, and, at times, forgotten by God.

Romantic love for the one your heart will find kinship with on this earth is merely an inkling of the love that Christ has for you.

The Nosh Life: My Heartfelt Journey Through Singleness

Over the course of six years [ age 18 – 23 ]  I was approached by five young men. Five young men that claimed to love the Lord  [ I do not question that in their lives ], and some that claimed to love me. I did not have five relationships [ one of the five was a real courtship relationship ] but the process of getting to know one another took place. Due diligence was done, lots of conversation was had, dates were enjoyed.. but always something was missing; a seriousness about their walk with Christ, no real connection, dishonesty – It felt like a myriad of things had halted my future. With each disappointment came more loneliness and the agonizing question: What if God does not have someone for me? Four of those six years were my crawling years – years spent crawling toward God with my heart in my hand, bruised and broken. Prior to my “crawling years” I had my first truly serious relationship – when I was twenty. It ended poorly, and honestly, it tore my heart to pieces. It was everything that our tender hearts long for; guy meets girl [ in sunday school no less], sparks fly, the proper permissions are given, courtship begins, and I love you starts to creep in. Emotion guided my naive heart. Everything seemed right. He was on fire for the Lord, he said the right things about our future and our family, he made the most beautiful professions of love. Surely this guy was “the one”.

But he wasn’t. He was far from it. His words and actions in the beginning backed up his proclamations of love, but, ultimately he was not truthful, he was distant and unfaithful, he was verbally demeaning, and physically hurtful. I walked away from that young man and I never looked back. That period of time and the painful experiences that I went through confused my heart even more, and left me with a tiny emotional scar to mark my journey. It was not only a scar that marked hurt, but it was a scar of
maturity. Pain grows us. Loneliness that is only remedied by Christ grows us.

As hard as it is to admit, I descended into a pit of despair fueled by the deepest longing and loneliness. I hesitate to say that because I know how that sounds to those who may be struggling through their own despair – being heartbroken over a lonely heart can seem trivial. In my life, it was the greatest pain. I have lived my life with the expectation of being a wife and a mother. Staring into the void of an unknown future shook me, shattered me, and settled a shadow over my outlook.

The Nosh Life: My Heartfelt Journey Through Singleness

 
There have been so many times over the past four years that I have sat alone in my prayer corner pouring my heart out to the Lord through tears. I reached the point where I could be surrounded by some of my closest friends and feel lonely. We are made to pair up. God instituted marriage! He is for
marriage, and I believe He has knit into our being a desire for that companionship. It is that God given desire that makes our hearts ache when it is not fulfilled. I truly believe that there is a unique loneliness that can settle over your heart when you are walking through singleness. That loneliness gripped me and brought me to my knees.
The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you are okay

 

As time passed, and a few years ticked by, my sadness grew. I kept my heart-pangs to myself, putting on a brave face over my fear of a life lived alone. I never told a soul about the fear and doubt that I was wrestling with. Carrying an emotional burden alone is taxing. It wore me down. I regret never sharing my heart with anyone close to me. If I could rewind time, I would open up and seek counsel and comfort. In it all though, God used every aspect of my wrestling to teach me and mold me into a wiser woman, and a woman who understands His comfort, grace, and sovereignty more fully.

 

I was so hung up on my future that I could not enjoy my present. There was so much that I could have enjoyed and experienced, but, I let a heart of discontentment hinder those things.It took time for the Lord to peel away the layers of fear, discontentment, and hopelessness. He peeled back each layer, exposing the deepest parts of my heart, and then He washed each layer away. God doesn’t just solve our problems or give us immediate answers. He works on us – refining and renewing.And that is exactly what He did. He renewed my mind and my heart, and He renewed my attitude.

The Nosh Life: My Heartfelt Journey Through Singleness

Lessons Learned
What I learned, what my fear, my loneliness, and my hurt taught me, was that I am made whole in Christ. We are made whole in Christ. Contentment does not come from another person. Happiness and true joy do not come from our significant other. Those things are found in the freedom and security of our relationship with Christ. When I realized that, and took hold of it, I found contentment. Contentment does not wash away loneliness or longing, it simply puts those things in their proper place.. behind Christ.

 

God is sovereign, friends. His ways are not always known to us [ that’s more often then not ] but we can trust Him completely! He knows our hurt and He knows our heart. Wait on Him. You will never regret it.When I came to the place of finding contentment in my relationship with Christ, and living in the present, rather than a potential future – a future that only God knew – I found hope again. Hope for new adventures, friendships, and hope for God’s plan – whether marriage was a part of it or not.
We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps -Rest and be faithful
Blessing Bestowed
Two years ago, God was leading, He was constructing, and He was guiding me toward yes. I had no clue, not even an inkling at the time. God truly knows best – today I get to enjoy the sweetest relationship with my Austin.I met Austin two years ago at our gym – He was there as a personal trainer. We started working out together with mutual friends and developed a friendship ourselves. He liked me, it was clear, but, I did not think much of it at the time. I was walking my road with God. Austin, never pressured me for anything beyond friendship. He was truly willing to be nothing more than friends – That impressed and intrigued me. He expressed his desire to build a friendship with me and I agreed, but, still thought very little of it.
Over the course of two years I got to see his character, his integrity, his humor, and his love for the Lord. Austin treated me with real care and real patience, he prayed with me, he purposed to now my heart, and he treated me with real love – But he expected nothing in return. As I got to know him I grew to admire and respect him as a man, and wouldn’t you know it.. I grew to love him fiercely.

The Nosh Life: My Heartfelt Journey Through Singleness

Deep into our friendship [ one year and five months to be exact ], Austin, shared his heart with me and expressed his love fully over a birthday dinner – still he expected nothing – he simply wanted me to know how he felt. It took more time for me to be brave enough to express the feelings that I had grown into for him, but, I eventually did find the words to tell him how I felt. We have been inseparable ever since. Our relationship abounds in purity, patience, seeking Christ, a lot of laughter, and yes, love. This love, though, is like no other I have experienced. This love is intentional, it is selfless, and it is raw. There are no secrets or unsettled scuffles. Do we always get along blissfully? No. We are sinful. But we seek Christ, we make amends when necessary, we act silly when no one else is around, and we share from the deepest wells in our hearts. We are like puzzle pieces crafted by God for one another. It’s a good match, friends.. it is a God match.
My journey through singleness has been a long road, but, one I would walk again in a heartbeat to enjoy what God has constructed with this precious man! The best part? Austin’s heart is ALL the Lord’s. That, my sweet friends, is worth every lonely hour and every fallen tear.
The Nosh Life: My Heartfelt Journey Through Singleness

If you made it to the end of this post – Thank you. Thank you for reading, thank your for allowing me to bare my heart.. thank you for giving me the opportunity to step out in vulnerability. Life has its bumps, its twists, and its turns, but, in it all God is sovereign – If you are wrestling, seek Him and He will direct your steps. Rest and be faithful. God has not forgotten you.

 

Where are you in your journey? Tell me about it in the comments. xo

 

All my heart,

 

Jenna

 

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Patiently Waiting: Purity, Purpose, and Prayer

When I was a young girl I dreamed of what my life would be like when I was “grown”. At the time, I thought I would be all grown up at eighteen. I thought I would have fallen in love with a godly man, and swiftly married him so we could live happily ever after. I thought I would have three children by the time I was twenty-three. I thought my life was building up to my Pride and Prejudice ending; Full of romance and incandescent joy. But life is not a perfectly constructed novel. It is not unadulterated bliss. Life is messy. It is a mix of little joys, big hopes, heartbreaks, and confusion. It is excitement, and inexperience, brokenness, and healing.

I am twenty-four now, unmarried [ though a godly young man is trying to pursue me 😉 ], and exactly where God wants me. Has there been loneliness? Absolutely. Has there been longing? Without question. There has also been sweet hope, blanketing peace, and a surety that only comes from God.

When I turned 21 I started reevaluating the way that I thought about love and relationships. I started digging into scripture to find out what the truth and reality of love really was. I had spent so many years looking and yearning for something that was not realistic. Where was my Mr. Darcy? I wanted a romance full of stolen glances, flowery words, and dramatic proclamations of love in the rain. Life and relationships are so much more than emotional moments that give us butterflies.

 
THE REALITY OF LOVE.

Love is exciting. It puts a smile on your face, an extra spring in your step, and the sweetest joy in your heart. Growing love desires to make the other happy. It sees the positive, and pushes aside the negative. It blindly skips along with boundless hope. New love, growing love, is something to be cherished. Those precious naive days will fade, and the reality of love will set in.

The reality of real love is this: When he is unkind, I forgive. When money is tight, I do not despair. When he disappoints me, I do not hold it against him. When he is hurting, I comfort him. When hopes are dashed, I do not cast blame. When I feel selfish, I emulate Christ.

Love is action over feelings. Love is: When I do not feel love for him, I choose to love him.

A HEART MOST PURE.

It is often that we long for love out of a selfish desire to be filled up emotionally. We desire someone to laugh with, someone to tell us we are beautiful, someone to look at us through rose colored glasses when we are far from being lovable, we long for stolen glances, and perfectly crafted words that speak to our heart. We long for all of the romance and overlook all of the work that must be put in.

What does unconditional love really look like? Stolen glances? Flowers? A sweet goodnight text?
Perhaps unconditional love looks like being angry and not responding in anger, being wronged and forgiving though you may not receive an apology, doing what is in his best interest above your own. Perhaps unconditional love looks like Christ; Patient, self sacrificing, forgiving, forgiving again, pointing to what is righteous.

We must nurture a heart most pure that does not seek its own, but seeks God’s will in all things, including our future husband’s life. We should prepare ourselves to be a helpmate suitable, not wait around to be a soul mate. Study scripture, be a woman of prayer, be a woman of purity, foster your talents, and serve God where you are with joy and gladness. Then, when your beloved arrives, you will be ready to carry on life at his side.

THE PURPOSE IN LONELINESS.

God uses our loneliness to draw us closer to Him. We will never be able to love more fully than when our heart is aligned with God. It is only through Him that we can tame our hurtful tongue, subdue our selfish nature, submit with grace, and care with utter purity of heart. God makes no mistakes. If we seek His will and surrender our own, He will lead us unmistakably, and graciously grant us the ability to display a true love that He has created ( and shows so fully to us ).

Sometimes, in order to truly value and nurture what we long for, we must stand alone and weather the sting of loneliness and unsurety. God is in it. He allows our pains so that we might seek Him more and grow in ways that we cannot when the road is smooth. It is easy to despair when we do not have sight of what we pray for. To quote Marilla Cuthbert from Anne of Green Gables: To despair is to turn your back on God. How true that is. When we let the ache of loneliness and desire turn our heart toward despair, we turn our back on God. Despair is an emotional way of saying: I do not trust you God. I do not trust your plan for me. 


God does have a plan. He so often chooses not to reveal that plan to us. We must walk in faith, and in fellowship with Him, fully surrendered to His will, before He gives us a glimpse of His plan. Our loneliness drives us to God. It helps us learn to rely on Him in  everything, and for everything. When God does unfold your love story you will be far more prepared for the reality of love; seeking not your husband to fill you up, but leaning on God. And when you are leaning on God, you can love your husband/fiancé/boyfriend with a real, selfless, pure, godly love.



PRAYING FOR LOVE.

When I was an older teen I spent a lot of time praying for my future husband. I talked to God everyday with the utmost earnest. The problem, though, was that I was not really praying for him. I was not praying for his spiritual growth, his heart, his purity… I was praying for God to bring him into my life. I selfishly pleaded with Him to do so.

Much of the time we pray for the wrong thing. We ask God to bring our man now so that we will not feel lonely anymore. What we should be doing is actually praying FOR the man that God has for us. Praying that his heart would be surrendered wholly to Christ, praying for his days, his work ethic, praying for his purity of heart, mind, and body, praying for his growth, his leadership skills, financial wisdom..

No matter where he might be, you should pray for him as a whole. You should go to battle for him in prayer, though miles, and years may separate you. You can, right now, be connected through prayer. Everyday trusting that God knows who he is, where he is, and exactly when he will enter your life. Pray for him as though you know him already. Love him now through faithful, bolstering prayer.

I am by no means an expert in the ways of love, but I have learned the truth of love through experience, prayer, and bible study. My hope is that by sharing my heart you are encouraged, and perhaps enlightened. Be steadfast, friends! God has not forgotten you. Let God construct your love story. Prepare yourself while you wait. Wait with a joyful, and faithful heart!



What have you learned about love? Do these four truths of love ring true to you? Have a beautiful day!

PS. You might find this post helpful: 31 Days of Praying for Your Future Husband

THE DATING GAME: 5 TRAITS OF A GODLY MAN

What traits should you look for in a potential spouse? These 5 traits of a godly man will help you determine what really matters.
Hey babes! You can probably guess what this post is all about.. the title gives that away. I have been planning my wedding these past three months which has brought back many memories of lonely days past spent praying, preparing, and waiting for a godly man. It is important as a single young woman to know what to look for in a suitor, and potential husband. Knowing the traits of a godly man helps us determine what really matters. Marriage is a wonderful thing to aspire to. It is brutally attacked and mired in our culture – that is truly heartbreaking. God created marriage; It is a beautiful picture of Christ and His church. I spent many years preparing myself for and awaiting the man that God potentially had for me. I say potentially because we are not guaranteed a spouse in this life. That is, for many of us, a painful thought. Our hearts long to pair up in covenant unity. Whether God has a godly man for us our not, we should purpose to be ready to be a helpmate suitable.
What traits should you look for in a potential spouse? These 5 traits of a godly man will help you determine what really matters.
I have had some unfortunate experiences in the past with guys that came around. Thankfully, I learned a lot through those experiences, as well as through many hours of conversation with others much older and wiser than myself. I certainly do not know everything about this subject, but I have learned so much through experience and bible study. I know a few things now – Things that matter, yet, are not often addressed in articles and conversations about guys and what kind of men they should be to be worthy of a young woman. Yes, worthy. I am not afraid to say it. There are standards that a young man should meet before he is ready to pursue your heart. We as young women should recognize the standards and not be afraid to measure a guy against them.
 A Godly Man Will Be In God’s Word. 

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The same goes for a godly woman. If we want to grow in Christ, we must study scripture. If a guy shows up at church without his bible, and doesn’t engage with the sermon, that’s a red flag. A man that loves the Lord will love His word, and an evidence of that is his desire to study it; both privately and publicly. You can quickly assess a man’s walk with Christ by watching him in this public setting. If he’s not engaged with God’s word publicly at church, he will not be engaged with it in private in personal study.Another side to this is a guy’s engagement with the church ( tithing, serving at church, giving of his time, talents, and expertise to the glory of God ). A guy will not be able to attain full spiritual manhood without a commitment to church, and God’s word. His commitment in this area will directly affect you both as a couple, and any future children.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.

– Psalm 1:2

A Godly Man Will Not Compromise Your Purity. 

If a guy touches you in a sexual way that invades your personal space and being he is not prepared to pursue you. This may be seeming harmless, and it may even make you feel good. We’re women, we desire to be loved. A perceived “loving” touch is easy to overlook. In reality this is sexual tension on the guy’s part. These seemingly harmless flirtations are compromise, and they are an insult and disrespect to you as a pure, godly young woman. Please understand that I am not saying a tender kiss on the forehead in a committed relationship is wrong or even a sweet kiss on the lips ( provided you have both agreed upon the standards for your relationship ). I am speaking of the sexual flirtatious touches that guys will try to get past you. With his words he may tell you how much he respects and cares for you, but with his actions he reveals that he is willing to put his selfish physical desires before your purity. A man that does not respect your personal space and your physical being is not ready to pursue you because he has yet to master his sexuality, and discipline himself in purity. He is not protecting himself, or protecting your purity physically and emotionally. He has no right to be intimately close to you. Only your husband has that God given right. Watching a guy’s physical proximity to you will reveal how well he manages his own body, desires, and how genuine his affections are for you. A man that loves you will protect you, even from himself.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion..

– 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

What traits should you look for in a potential spouse? These 5 traits of a godly man will help you determine what really matters.

A Godly Man Will Respect and Value Your Time. 

With maturity comes comfortable security. This applies to both men and women, but we’re focusing on guys here. A man that is secure will not monopolize your time. If you’re spending time with your family or having lunch with a girlfriend and he continuously texts you, pulling your attention away, you’re dealing with a boy not a man. A man will give you the proper space and freedom to enjoy your time others without distraction. Now please don’t hear me saying if a guy texts you at all while you’re spending time with others or busying yourself with other productive things that he’s in the wrong. Monopolizing is the key word here. It is the action of taking up the greatest share of your time and attention. Remember, you have a life outside of him. He doesn’t have exclusive rights to the majority of your attention. So watch to see if a guy gives you some room to breathe when he knows you’re busy ( or even just hanging out at the house with your family ) or if he hovers over your attention. An insecure, and spiritually immature, guy will chat you up constantly. More likely than not, the “conversation” he stirs up won’t be of great depth. Chit-chat should be very small percentage of his interaction with you.One additional point here: A man should be productive. Is he in school? Does he work? How about a hobby, or some guy friends of his own? A guy shouldn’t have lots of time on his hands to be monopolizing yours. A man will be busy and productive, and make time to talk with you and spend quality time with you.

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. – Ephesians 5:15-16

A Godly Man Will Openly Pray.

This goes back to the first point in a sense because a man that is in God’s word will also be a man of prayer. The two go hand-in-hand. What is in our heart naturally proceeds from our mouth, and plays out in our actions. Prayer ( and bible study ) is a way that we cultivate our relationship with Christ. A spiritually mature man will openly and confidently pray in groups and one on one. One on one is where you, the young woman, come in. A man should be willing to pray with and for you, and he should take the lead in this action. Men are called by God to be the leaders of their household, and this includes prayer. You want a man that will boldly lead you in prayer, because the foundation of your relationship is your commitment to God, and how do we cultivate our relationship with Him? Through prayer.

Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving..

– Colossians 4:2

What traits should you look for in a potential spouse? These 5 traits of a godly man will help you determine what really matters.

A Godly Man Will Cultivate A Relationship With Your Family.

When you marry someone you don’t just get them. You get their family too. This is twofold. You get their family in traits that they as an individual carry over. You also get their family for holidays, dinners, babysitting etc.. There are many ways in which your new extended family will be present in your life. Your family knows you best. Your closest relationships are with family members; your mom, dad, your sister. So then, a guy that is serious, and mature, will not only purpose to know you but purpose to know your family as well. Your family is part of you, and a guy that is serious will want to know all of you. Your family is part of that. If a guy has no or little interest in knowing your family, that should be a huge red flag to you. He is essentially saying, with his actions, that he doesn’t truly desire or intend to know you fully.

If you admired a work of art, like a painting, wouldn’t you wonder what the artist behind it was like? What inspired them to paint that piece? What it is about that piece that they think is significant and special? You are the piece of art. Your parents have helped shape and mold you; like the artist behind a painting. It’s a beautiful process. It’s something to be respected. If a guy ‘admires’ you he should naturally want to know the ‘artist’ behind what he admires. This is really an act of love.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her..

– Ephesians 5:25

What traits should you look for in a potential spouse? These 5 traits of a godly man will help you determine what really matters.

Let me be clear, I am not being legalistic here. If you’re in a serious relationship, hold the man’s hand, spend time really talking with him, get to know his family too, pray with him. The point is that he is called to lead and protect you. That is his calling by God. Look for leadership. If a man really loves you, he will lead you, and that leading will always protect your purity, pursue you, and put you first in Christ-like love. Some things are just very black and white in life. Gray areas are where compromise begins, and compromise pulls us away from the Lord, and walking in godliness. You can’t expect a young man to be as mature and wise as your father or another man that you respect. You’re looking for seedlings. Does this young man have a trajectory for his life? Does he pursue the Lord and walk according to His word? Is he a man of integrity? You will see these things in their basic form, ready to develop and grow, shaping him into the man he will be as he ages; the man that will potentially love and provide for you, and be a father to your children. A young man is just an inexperienced version of his older self. People don’t change, they grow. You want to see a foundation and pursuit of godliness. God will continue to grow a young man into the mature older man that he will become. The man that you will build a life and heritage with.

Pursue the Lord with all of your heart, and be content where he has you. This will give you a clear mind and eye to see a guy that is a cut above the rest; whose heart has been captured by Christ. If you place your heart in God’s hands, you can trust Him to place it in the hands of a worthy man.

 

What traits do you look for in a guy?

With love,

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